How do you know the author: The Hulu Reality Series ‘The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives’

What gets discussed

‘Told You So’ captures a focused period of Neely’s life—understandable given she wrote the book in her late twenties. The narrative centers on her years as a standout tennis player at BYU, but it’s anchored by profound personal loss: her teenage pregnancy and the sudden death of her boyfriend in a car accident.

The book traces how these formative experiences shaped her journey toward The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives, where the memoir’s publication becomes a meta moment in season two. However, readers hoping for extensive behind-the-scenes details about the show itself should know it occupies only a small portion of the story—this is fundamentally a coming-of-age narrative about grief, resilience, and young motherhood rather than a tell-all about reality television

Most shocking revelation: Neeley was texting with her boyfriend and father of her child when he got into the car accident that ultimately ended his life.

Is it worth your time

If you want to learn about Neely’s backstory, you’ll get plenty of it — much of it centered on her years playing tennis. Because the author is both young and, by her own admission, conventionally attractive, a significant amount of interpersonal drama weaves through these early chapters. In another era, this material could have easily been translated into a reality series à la MTV’s The Hills. In many ways, Neely feels uniquely suited for reality television.

“I like having more than one guy. It makes me feel powerful. And it’s a protective mechanism too.”

As the book progresses, it opens up once Neeley matures and begins to leave the world of tennis and young-adult drama behind. One of the more interesting revelations is her decision to pursue IVF for genetic reasons, though she doesn’t go into much detail about what those reasons are. That choice is understandable, but it also feels like a missed opportunity in a memoir that otherwise positions itself as a candid tell-all.

If you’re picking up this book hoping for behind-the-scenes insight into The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives, you’ll be disappointed. The book ends where the show begins. While it’s only briefly mentioned near the end, Neely does touch on her work as a content creator, securing brand deals, and becoming the primary breadwinner in her marriage. She frames joining The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives largely as a business decision — a way to grow her platform and expand her reach.

What would have strengthened the story is a deeper exploration of what it meant to be the main source of income in a household where, culturally and religiously, that role is typically assigned to the husband. This is something she alludes to on the show, but the book felt like the right space to reflect more thoughtfully on gender roles and her desire to challenge them.

“I’m not a rule breaker, but I’ve always been kind of intrigued by things that are off-limits — in part because I’ve never been told the reasoning behind a lot of Mormon rules.”

Overall, this memoir reads as an honest and thoughtful attempt to tell her life’s story. That said, reality television remains the medium where Neeley’s personality — and her content creation — truly shine, and ultimately, it’s the best place to experience her story.

Photo Credit: Simon & Schuster